The biggest barrier to building wealth isn’t a lack of discipline, but the stories we’ve been told about money.

In this episode of the Brown Way To Money podcast, Alejandra Rojas sits down with journalist, author, and financial expert Stefanie O’Connell to unpack the powerful narratives shaping how women understand wealth, ambition, and financial independence.

Together, they explore how myths about women and money influence everything from salary negotiations to career ambition, and how these narratives quietly reproduce wealth inequality.

This conversation invites women to rethink where financial struggles really come from, reclaim their agency within the systems that shape their opportunities, and imagine a future where wealth building is rooted not only in individual effort, but in community, support, and structural change.

Whether you’re building a business, negotiating your income, or redefining what success looks like in your life, this episode offers not just insight, but a powerful reframing of what financial empowerment for women can truly mean.

For decades, women have been told that financial success comes down to personal responsibility:

Save more.
Invest earlier.
Negotiate harder.

While those actions matter, they often overlook something critical: the systems and narratives shaping financial outcomes.

As Stefanie explains, one of the most damaging myths about women and money is the idea that financial challenges are primarily the result of personal failure.

“Women have been conditioned to internalize financial outcomes as something they did wrong” she explains.

But research tells a more complicated story.

The barriers women face in building wealth are often shaped by cultural expectations, institutional policies, and systemic inequalities — forces far larger than any individual financial decision.

When those structural barriers are framed as personal shortcomings, something powerful happens: Shame replaces curiosity.

And many women disengage from the conversation entirely.

One of the most persistent narratives around women and money is that women earn less because they don’t negotiate their salaries.

But the data tells a very different story.

For nearly two decades in the United States, women have actually been more likely than men to negotiate their salaries.

And yet the myth persists. Why?

Because narratives like this shift responsibility away from systems and toward individuals.

When people believe women earn less because they “don’t ask,” it becomes easier to ignore deeper issues like:

• • pay transparency
  • workplace bias
  • structural inequalities in hiring and promotion

As Stefanie explains, believing these myths doesn’t just distort reality, it also makes people less likely to support policies that reduce pay gaps, such as salary transparency laws.

In other words, myths about women and money don’t just shape perception. They shape policy.

If financial empowerment isn’t just about individual habits, what does it look like?

According to Stefanie, it starts with understanding how power actually works.

“We’ve been sold this idea that empowerment is purely internal” she says.

But real empowerment happens in relationship to the environments around us.

Those environments operate on multiple levels:

• • Interpersonal: relationships with partners, friends, mentors, and bosses
  • Institutional: workplaces, schools, and organizations
  • Cultural and political: policies, norms, and economic structures

Recognizing these layers doesn’t remove personal responsibility.

Instead, it expands the conversation so women can make more strategic choices about where and how to exercise their agency.

Sometimes that means negotiating a salary. Other times it means changing the environment itself.

Another key insight from this conversation challenges a modern narrative about independence.

Today, women are often presented with two extreme models, both of which carry significant risks:

• • Hyper-independence, doing everything alone, or
  • Complete dependence, relying entirely on a partner or spouse.

“If you rely entirely on yourself, that’s too much pressure.

And if you rely entirely on someone else, that’s too much risk.” 

Stefanie explains.

The alternative is interdependence.

Interdependence recognizes that sustainable wealth building often depends on networks of support, not just income.

That includes:

• • community
  • friendships
  • mentorship
  • family support systems

These networks can provide stability in moments of uncertainty, something many economic systems fail to guarantee.

For women navigating entrepreneurship, motherhood, or career transitions, this kind of support is often essential for long-term financial resilience.

Perhaps the most powerful insight from this episode is the way ambition itself is framed.

For women, ambition is often positioned as a trade-off.

Career or family.
Success or balance.
Professional achievement or personal fulfillment.

But as Stefanie points out, that trade-off is rarely presented to men.

For men, career success and family life are often treated as mutually reinforcing.

For women, they are framed as mutually exclusive.

That narrative shapes everything from workplace expectations to personal choices. And it can quietly limit how women imagine their own futures.

Reclaiming ambition means asking a different question: Why are women still being asked to make trade-offs that others are not?

When women begin to challenge those assumptions, it opens the door to a more expansive vision of success, one where ambition, family, creativity, and financial independence can coexist.

For women navigating money, career, and entrepreneurship, this episode highlights several powerful shifts that can reshape how wealth is built:

1. Stop Internalizing Financial Struggles

Recognize that financial outcomes are shaped by both individual choices and systemic forces.

Understanding that context removes shame and opens the door to strategic action.

2. Build Interdependence

Sustainable wealth building requires networks of support, not just income streams.

Invest in relationships, mentorship, and community.

3. Redefine Ambition

Challenge the narratives that frame success as a trade-off for women.

Build a vision of wealth and success that aligns with your values, not outdated expectations.